Category Archives: Relationship

More Information About Foolproof Tips For Surviving First Dates

Going on first dates can be one of the most nerve-racking experiences ever. You want to make a good impression and be able to appear attractive, intelligent, funny, fun and all at the same time. And with all that pressure sometimes it can just feel overwhelming because you don’t know where to start. It can make the most confident and relaxed person become jittery and uncomfortable.

To help those of you who may not have been so lucky when it comes to first dates, below are 10 vital things you must take on board if you want to not only survive the first dates but also to enjoy them.

1. Have a nice shower beforehand. You want to feel as fresh as possible so make sure you have a shower before your date. The last thing you want is to smell funky in the middle of your date. Smelling off will make you feel awkward and self-conscious so make sure you leave plenty of time to have that nice shower or a hot bath. Doing this will even help to calm your nerves.

2. Wear something you’ll feel comfortable in. Invest in an outfit that looks good but at the same time allows you to be yourself. Don’t end up wearing something you absolutely don’t feel comfortable in for the sake of impressing your date. The most attractive thing about you will be your confidence and if you feel unable to move around right or sit down properly with that super tight dress on – then it might be better to opt for a different outfit.

3. Be on time. You want to be on time not only to make a good impression and to show your date some respect but this will also help to calm your nerves. When you run late to your first date with someone, you are going to arrive flustered and even more self-conscious. Make sure you figure out beforehand how long it will take you to get to the location of the date and give yourself plenty of time to get ready.

4. Order a meal that isn’t too hard to eat. It’s hard enough to appear calm and fun during the conversations with your date but then when you have to bite off that big burrito or burger you can end up with food all over your mouth and looking not so fabulous. Hold off on ordering meals that can be difficult to chew or bite. This way you can eat, enjoy your meal and not have to worry about how you are going to eat. You will have one less thing to worry about.

5. Get to know the person – ask questions. First dates are a chance for you to get to know the person better and for you to figure out if he can be someone you really like or not. Ask questions about what they do for a living, what their hobbies and interests are or what sort of places they like to hang out in. The more you get to know the other person the more you will feel relaxed. Besides, most people love talking about themselves so go on with your questions – the more you listen the better.

6. Don’t mention anything about past relationships. Sometimes it can be tempting to want to tell stories about past boyfriends; how much of a jerk your ex was or how much you have ‘evolved’ since your last relationship. But when it comes to talks of the past – the wisest thing to do is to keep that to yourself until much, much later on. Men in particular tend to not care or want to know much about their partner’s past anyway, so talking about it isn’t going to do anything good for your date.

7. Stay clear-headed. First dates are definitely not the time and place to totally ‘loosen up’. Getting drunk may sound fun in your imagination but when it comes down to it – you will most likely end up with regrets. Sure, having a glass of wine is not going to hurt but anymore than that you might actually want to kick yourself in the head once the date is over. The last thing you want to have is total lack of control over yourself with someone who hardly knows you yet.

8. Bring some mints. Do not underestimate what a bad breath can do to how you appear to the opposite sex. When you are talking with someone and their breath doesn’t smell so fresh – you too would not find it at all attractive. The last thing you want is to look good, have your body smelling good but then to have bad breath the minute you start talking. So, bring with yourself some mints and don’t forget to have some after you finish your meal.

9. Be yourself. You really want to be yourself during your first date and by being yourself it means to still have your personality shine through. Being yourself means to not hide away your morals and values or your interests. Doing this will give your date a chance to know the real you and not some made up version of you. If your date happens to still like you after it – then you will know that he likes you for you.

10. Don’t forget to actually enjoy the date. Remember that first dates are not all about you! So, don’t feel like you have to perform in order to get a ‘good grade’ by your date. First dates are only for the both of you to start getting to know each other – that’s it! It would be a big shame for you to not try to have fun and enjoy it properly. The more you look at it as a casual thing the more you will actually have a great time.

Tips To Heart To Heart Talk

“Dear Bridestory, my boyfriend and I have been getting into arguments lately due to our difference of opinion about white lies. I do not think we should lie at all, and he thinks white lies are okay. We have been together for quite a while now and almost throughout our relationship I have caught him lying about small things. When I confronted him about his lies, he would just say how they are trivial so he doesn’t find it to be a big deal. For instance, telling me he is at work when he was actually out with his friends. I am starting to wonder if he also lies about the bigger things as well. Is it kind of behavior okay or is it breaching problematic?” – IHateLiars

Dear IHateLiars,

First of all, it is never nice to find out your partner is lying whether that lie is a small lie or a big one. Finding out the truth later on can sometimes feel a bit like a dagger in the heart. It sounds like you are also the type of person that takes lying seriously, meaning no matter how ‘trivial’ it may seem, you simply do not do it because you don’t think it’s right. Whereas on the other hand, your partner looks at lying or white lies as something that depends on the context and the intention behind it. If to him, the context isn’t that big of a deal (like where he was) then it shouldn’t matter as much. The problem with white lies or lying in general is that it can be such a subjective topic. Everyone has different preferences as well as definitions when it comes to white lies and it can be very hard when you disagree on these two things with your partner.

Before you can assume or conclude that because your partner lies about small things therefore he might lie about bigger things – it is important to take into account other aspects. For example, his intention in lying – was it to protect your feelings? Was it to avoid confrontation? Was it to keep things short because otherwise you would get into an argument? It is important to speak to him about the reasons behind his white lies. Take into consideration also what the white lie is about – is it truly something that does not cause any harm or is it actually a trigger for something more sensitive for you. For example, is hanging out with his friends something you do not like? Or is it actually not a big deal for you either? Also consider the kind of person your partner is. Is he generally a man of his words? Can you generally trust him? If you have doubts in this area then there might be bigger problems here than just white lies.

You need to have this conversation with him otherwise assuming the worst will not help you or the relationship. If after talking to him you feel that he is simply a compulsive or chronic liar and cannot see your point of view in the matter then this is something for you to think about. However, if his lying tendencies occur because he is afraid you cannot handle the truth (for whatever reason) then trust is something you both need to work on together. There needs to be a compromise between the two of you – if you really cannot handle him lying no matter how tiny it is, then he must adjust to that. If he needs you to be able to be strong enough to handle the truth, then you need to work on that. Either way, both parties must feel comfortable with the next step – otherwise, this will only get worse as he continues to white lie and you continue to feel disappointed.

Should You Know, What Is Love?

That timeless question “what is love?” has resurfaced over and over again for centuries. We sing about it, we write about it, we cry and laugh about it. So what is it? Is love that that tingly excited feeling you get when you start a new relationship? Is it the feeling you get on your way to the alter? Is it looking at your partner at 90 years old and realizing there’s no one you would have rather spent your life with? All of the above? All of these things are a part of love but there’s one aspect of this powerful emotion that we forget about.

Losing the magic

We’re all familiar with the stages of a relationship. In that first, magical stage, our partner can do no wrong. You could even say they walk on water, and you probably seem the same way to them. As you become closer and become a unit, you may start to notice that their actions and emotions have a profound effect on you. You’re sad when they are sad, and happy when they laugh. The third stage is one that many relationships don’t make it past. In this stage, the mystery and excitement has evaporated to such a degree that the behavior you once found cute may just annoy you. And, they probably feel the same! If you two can make it past this stage, it will only get better!

Why You Drive Each Other Crazy

You get on each other’s nerves. He doesn’t put away the dishes right, and she steals the blankets at night. You’re both learning that the other is human! Do you like everything about yourself? Probably not. So, if you and your partner are truly to become one unit, then you’re going to find things about them that you don’t like.

How to Know if the Relationship is Still Worth the Effort

Many couples fall out when one or both of the participants wonder if they’re right for one another. This is a critical juncture in a relationship because this is where the soul searching begins. It doesn’t need to be that hard. Think about what your partner does that annoys you, and think about the things you might do that are irritating or upsetting. Then think about the things you’d miss if they were to disappear tomorrow. You’ll probably start remembering all of the things that made you fall in love in the first place.

How to Make it Better

Now it’s time for some effort on both sides. There are many ways to rekindle your fading interests and make your relationship better than it was, even when you first met.

  1. Talk to your partner. Communication is KEY. If you and your partner can’t communicate about things that bother you then you won’t last long. Let them know when they do something that bothers you but don’t limit communication to criticism. Tell them every day that you love them, and tell them why you’re grateful to have them around. Confide in them as you would your best friend. Don’t shut them out.
  2. Use humor. Romantic comedies are funny for a reason. Try looking at your relationship like it’s a comedy sometimes. The things you do and say to one another, and the things that drive you nuts may just take on a different light. Laugh with your partner about the dumb stuff you both do and say. Laughter will enrich your relationship more than anything else.
  3. Take a step back when you’re upset. Most arguments are based on a misunderstanding and can be easily remedied if both parties take a breather before talking about it. Apologies and understanding both come easier if you allow one another this important space.

So what is love? Love is when you and your partner drive one another up the wall, but you can still laugh about it. It’s when the mystery is gone, but you can still appreciate all of the wonderful things about them that make smile. Love is when you look into their eyes, and you realize they’re the one you want by your side in eighty years laughing with you, bugging you, and sitting quietly with you. No one else will do.

Should You Know What Science Says It’s Good For Your Relationship

Relationships aren’t always easy. Arguments and disagreements are expected when two people with different life experiences, views and perspectives come together. But how often are we told that arguing with our partner means the relationship is doomed? That disagreeing often is a sign that you just aren’t compatible? Well, if you find you bicker a lot with your loved one there may be a saving grace – science says it is, in fact, a great indicator for your relationship and here’s how.

Love Isn’t An Easy Street

As much as love is portrayed as romantic and against-all-odds fantastic, the reality is that relationships and marriage takes work to cultivate and bloom. There’s so much psychological research based on why marriages fail but not nearly as much asking what actually makes marriages succeed.

It’s this perspective that has led us to believe that arguing is a negative sign of failure and incompatibility with someone we love. While extreme hurtful arguing is detrimental to each other, research suggests that a healthy relationship is one that includes disagreements on a regular basis.

How Arguing Helps Your Relationship To Last

We all know communication is the key to any successful relationship.[1]

While most of us think of this as calmly sitting on the sofa and bringing up worries or concerns to our partner, in real life this is rarely the case.

After all, we’re all human and we all have our bad days, our bad reactions to words and situations and so arguments are bound to happen. In essence, couples who argue are communicating and this is the lynchpin to any successful relationship. Granted it may not seem like the most ideal way to communicate, but actually getting our opinions and viewpoints out is much better than keeping them to ourselves and letting them stew.

Jonah Lehrer, author of A Book About Love, looked closely into how fighting in a relationship is actually a good thing rather than a negative.

“According to the scientists, spouses who complain to each other the most, and complain about the least important things, end up having more lasting relationships. In contrast, couples with high negativity thresholds—they only complain about serious problems—are much more likely to get divorced.”

So arguing about the little things keeps your relationship ticking over much better than saving it for what would be deemed the serious and more important stuff.

How Not Fighting Indicates An Unhealthy Relationship

Okay, arguing from day one may be an unhealthy sign but once we settle into a relationship it’s at this time when the real dynamics start to show.

Lehrer delves deeper into research done by John Gottman, who set up the Gottman Institute dedicating reseach-based methods to strengthen relationships. Gottman’s studies have revealed that, at a certain stage of a relationship where you’re revealing your true-selves to each other, if you’re not arguing then it could be a sign that you’ve lost emotional investment in the other person.

“Gottman’s research shows that 3 years into the relationship, if you’re not fighting, that’s the indicator of an unhealthy relationship. At that point, you’re not holding in your farts anymore. You’re fully intimate. You’ve seen where they’ve got hair, you’ve smelled their morning breath. You’re not holding anything back. So if you’re not fighting, it’s often a sign of withdrawal. In a sense, you can look at complaining and fighting in an intimate relationship as just ways of showing you care.”[2]

Of course, no one should be unhappy in a relationship but emotionally intelligent arguing or even general bickering is a sign that you’re invested and willing to communicate, therefore keeping your relationship ticking over.

So, for those of you that believe arguing is a sign of impending doom for your relationship then think again. In fact, it’s a sign that you’re not only passionate about the other person and the relationship, but most importantly communication is abundant showing you a positive sign that your partnership is probably much stronger than you think.

Give Relationship Advice

Romantic relationships can be difficult to navigate and sometimes, they don’t work out. Other times, you manage to find the person of your dreams out of the giant sea of available fish. When that happens, you probably want everything to work out so you can spend the rest of your lives together. But, how exactly do you make your relationships work out? By asking for relationship advice from people in happy relationships!

That is exactly what author and blogger Mark Manson set out to do just before getting married. He sent out a relationship advice request to all of his readers with one qualification. They must be married for longer than 10 years and still happy in their relationship. He asked responders to pass on their relationship advice to other couples and the response was more than he expected. Nearly 1,500 people sent in their relationship advice. [1]

Mark noticed something. Most of the pieces of advice were similar. The most common bit of relationship advice was: “Be together for the right reasons”.

Most Common Piece of Relationship Advice

Be together for the right reasons. To have a healthy relationship, both partners need to feel admiration and respect for one another. When you’re with another person for the right reasons, you benefit through personal growth and so does your partner.

As most relationship advice will tell you, being in a healthy relationship is good for you. Having somebody to come home to, who you legitimately love to share your time with, can actually make you healthier. Not only that, but you’ll feel more motivated to accomplish your goals and you’ll probably get more done as well. Maintaining happiness gives you hope and can help relieve the stress of life’s difficult moments. 

But, you and your partner will only experience these benefits if you really love each other. Unfortunately, people end up in relationships for all the wrong reasons far too frequently.

Wrong Reasons to Be In A Relationship

Feeling Lonely

Maybe you met your significant other at a time in your life when you were feeling lonely or worried that you’d never meet the right person. Or maybe you’re staying in a relationship that you know isn’t right because of the fear of never finding somebody else. According to Carole Lieberman, MD and psychiatrist, “They [women] convince themselves that even a selfish, boring, or abusive boyfriend is better than no boyfriend at all.” [3] The same is true for men. Follow the relationship advice, don’t risk your happiness.

Fear of Losing an Entire Family

Another wrong reason to be with somebody else is for their family. Lots of people love their significant other’s family, particularly if the relationship has gone on for a long time. Sound familiar? Breaking up with that one person suddenly seems like you’ll be losing an entire family. Don’t let that stop you. It’s not a good enough reason to stay with somebody. If it’s the only reason, neither one of you will be happy.

Hoping that He/She Would Fix Everything That’s Wrong In Your Life

If you think that having a partner will magically fix everything that’s wrong in your life, you’re not following good relationship advice. Being with somebody because you think they can relieve your emotional issues is the wrong reason to be with somebody. Not only that, but you might find yourself in a codependent situation. This is when you put up with somebody else’s unhealthy behavior and they put up with yours because neither person wants to be alone. Not good.

Remember, finding the right relationship is not impossible. It just takes being honest with yourself about why you want to have a significant other. Once you’ve found the person that you want to grow old with and create a life with, follow the most common relationship advice discussed above. Make sure the two of you are in it for the right reasons.

Some Things To Do When in A Long Distance Relationship.

A relationship in general is a challenging adventure. Being in love, accepting and adapting is a complicated puzzle even if you live near your partner. It gets even more stressful when you’re in a long-distance relationship. You lack physical contact and the only way you’re able to show your love is through social media.

Unlike the times of Romeo and Juliet, we are now blessed with technology. We are now brought closer through Facebook, Skype, and other forms of communication. In the digital world, how can you create trust and how can you be genuine? This is the typical question asked by many.

Here are four tips to make your long-distance relationship work.

1. Create Routine Of Communication

Communication is key in any relationship. It’s the one element that keeps the relationship progressing and unique. In many ways, most couples fail at this point in a long-distance relationship. Different lifestyles, routines, and even time zones allow one to forget their priorities, especially in a relationship.

Sometimes we expect that if we are far apart we have to constantly keep in touch, texting and talking 24/7. If that doesn’t happen, we tend to lose hope and confidence. This then results in unprecedented conflicts and stress. which could put a strain on your relationship. How do you find a balance in communication ?

You create a routine. A routine of communication, a plan where you know when you both will be available to talk to each other without distractions. A time frame will allow you guys to savor the moment and grow the trust within your relationship . A schedule may seem like you’re drifting apart, but this is the one way you can keep your partner calm and your relationship healthy whilst having your own life.

2. Share Your World

I realize it’s hard to actually share your world when you’re not right next to each other. It’s hard to make each other feel and enjoy the thrills of another world. However, you can share tips, pictures, videos and voice messages despite the fact your partner may not reply to you. Keeping your loved one in the loop is one way to ensure you’re part of each other’s world.

For example, when my partner and I are miles apart, I’m constantly sending him pictures, videos and voice messages. He gets to see what I’m wearing and eating for the day and he does the same in return. We make each other feel at ease while moving on with our lives.

Distance doesn’t mean you can’t be part of each other’s world. You just need to find out ways to stay in communication.

3. Travel Together

Couples that I’ve crossed in the past often tell me that their relationships came to an end due to the distance between them. They claim to still be in love, but aren’t willing to make the sacrifices it takes to make a relationship work. Instead, they settle for what would be the “next best choice.” I personally find this unfair to both yourself and the other individual.

Therefore, we came up with a strategy: we travel together. We start off by planning our next visit or meet up and a month or two before, we decide on the destination. Oftentimes, I get the evil eye of how flawed our relationship is , however, that doesn’t bother either of us because we are creating memories all over the world together.

For example, one of the places I would recommend for a romantic getaway is Lanzarote Island which is located in the cluster of the Canary Islands. It’s an island made for couples. Not only do you enjoy the fine peaceful walks, nature, and beautiful blue water, but you’ll also enjoy amazing wine and the best dining experience with a magnificent view.

4. Ignore the Rumors

Being in a distant relationship can be taxing for the mind and the soul. When you watch couples holding hands and cuddling together, your heart aches due to your partner being so far. Sometimes your friends and family may find it ridiculous to have a relationship constantly depending on technology.

All the rumors and judgments might just seep into your soul, causing you to not only be bitter but also to show resentment towards your relationship. What you don’t realize is that you’re constantly pumping negative energy into your relationship which eventually could make those who are involved in this constant drama tired .

So what do you do? Complain less and embrace the uniqueness of your relationship. Accept the fact that all relationships are different and by accepting it you’re acknowledging the sincerity of your relationship. Always have faith towards one another because in a long run that’s what’s going to help your relationship prosper.

Relationships whether near or far are generally hard. Embrace the uniqueness and keep the negativity away and you’ll be fine.

Some Common Habits That Actually Ruin Your Relationship

Have you ever wondered why your romantic relationships never seem quite as joyful and intimate as you would like? Many of us tend to think that as long as we choose the right partner, everything else will fall into place. However, people in the best relationships know that it takes conscious effort to avoid falling into a rut. Take a look at this list of common relationship-wrecking habits and start taking a new approach to your partner today.

Bad Habit #1: Boring conversations and tired dialogue

Everyone likes to think that their partner cares about their day, so questions like “How was work?” tend to become a staple of most couples’ conversations. Unfortunately, this gets old fast. Instead of asking the same old questions, why not try a more original approach such as “What’s the funniest thing that happened to you today?” or “What have you been reading lately?”

Bad Habit #2: Failing to express your needs

In an ideal world, our partners would be able to read our minds and grant our every wish without prompting. In reality, it is up to you to let your significant other know what you need from them, whether it’s reassurance about your appearance or a few more hugs every evening.[1] Just because you have to provide a bit of guidance doesn’t mean that the reward is any less valuable. Never expect your partner to be psychic, as they will only resent you when inevitably they fail to meet your needs and you become irritated as a result.

Bad Habit #3: Failing to plan for serious discussions

Charging into a sensitive conversation without properly considering the points you wish to make is a recipe for disaster, tension, and prolonged conflict. Instead, try writing down your thoughts beforehand.[2] This will help you remain calm even in the face of difficult conversations and will improve the quality of communication between you and your partner. Journaling about your emotions or just writing them down as a list can help you remain focused on the problem at hand rather than taking your sadness, anger or jealousy out on the other person.

Bad Habit #4: Trying hard to solve the conflicts before sleep

We’ve all heard the saying, “Don’t let the sun set on an argument.” Whilst this piece of advice is well-intentioned, the truth is that many arguments between couples often seem much more manageable after both people have had a good night’s sleep. When you find yourself snapping at your partner after a long day’s work or fighting over a relatively trivial issue in the evening, suggest that you both go to bed and resolve the matter in the morning.

Bad Habit #5: Speaking ill of your partner behind their back

It can be tempting to talk to your friends whenever your partner causes you stress. If you are in an abusive relationship or are concerned about your partner’s mental health, reaching out can be the most appropriate course of action. However, (if you aren’t in an abusive relationship) as a general rule, you should be talking about your relationship problems with your partner rather than other people[3]. This is because badmouthing your partner lessens the respect you have for them. You are unlikely to feel positive about your relationship if you spend a lot of time complaining about it.

These five bad habits can quickly undermine a relationship, but they are easy to overcome once you commit to increasing your self-awareness and examining how you behave towards your partner. Relationships are not always easy, but if you are prepared to put in some work on a regular basis you will reap numerous rewards including greater intimacy and mutual understanding.

Create A Perfect Relationship With Follow These 5 Rules

Lots of people are in relationships that don’t make them truly happy. They love their partner and they don’t want to be with anyone else, but for some reason their relationship is filled with arguments and resentment. Sometimes they feel disrespected by their partner even though they know that their partner loves them. This can leave both partners feeling frustrated, confused and upset.

If you can relate to this you’re not alone. Lots of couples love each other, but they don’t know the relationship rules for a happy love life. If you want to create a perfect relationship, follow these 5 relationship rules:

1. Make An Effort To Converse Every Day

One of the main issues in long-term relationships is when both partners stop making an effort to talk to each other. Instead of having interesting, thought-provoking conversations, all of the conversations start with “How are you?” or “How was work?”. While it is okay for some conversations to start like this, a happy couple will also talk about other things such as their interests or hobbies.

Small talk about boring subjects won’t bring you and your partner closer together. If anything it is more likely to pull you apart, as you will both start to feel like you have nothing in common with each other. Make the effort to ask your partner one interesting question a day, such as “Has anything made you laugh today?” The conversation will be much more enjoyable for both of you, and it gives you the opportunity to bond with each other.

2. Be Vocal About Your Needs

Sometimes people expect their partners to be able to predict their thoughts, emotions and desires. They feel that they are entitled to this, but in reality this is unreasonable. If your partner doesn’t anticipate your needs over time you might start to feel hurt and angry, but this isn’t fair on your partner. It is your responsibility to vocalise your needs and feelings, and then it is your partner’s responsibility to respond in a loving way.

3. Write Down Your Thoughts Before Talking To Your Partner

When we are upset it can be tempting to lash out and get angry, but the best thing you can do is sit down and write out your thoughts. This gives you the chance to process and understand your feelings, and it will help you to figure out the root of the problem. Later when you discuss the problem with your partner you will feel calmer and less upset, so you are less likely to say something hurtful. It also means you will have a more positive attitude about solving the problem.

4. Don’t Complain About Your Partner To Your Friends

Lots of people go to their friends about their relationship problems as they know that they will receive support and love. However, talking badly about your partner when they are not around to defend themselves can warp your perception of them, making you view them in a negative light. If you want to create a perfect relationship remember that communication is an important part of making a relationship work, so you should try to talk to your partner first instead of your friends.

5. Don’t Hold On To Every Little Thing

One of the most toxic traits in a relationship is keeping score. Your partner forgot to take out the bins, so you’re seething with anger. You didn’t take the chicken out of the freezer, so your partner called you selfish. Passive aggressive behaviour like this indicates that there is a serious problem in the relationship, but instead of addressing it you both continue to obsess over the little things.

If you can relate to this, try to work on being more relaxed and positive. Remind yourself every day that happiness is built on patience, love and understanding – not resentment and pettiness.

Tips To Get A Happy Relationship

While the formative years of a relationship are usually incredibly positive, it is hard to imagine any changes later on. As feelings change and relationships grow to take on greater responsibilities, it is easy to become mired in a cycle of negativity that overwhelms any feelings of passion and love that remain.

We have all experienced this. Initial feelings of passion and excitement slowly give way to sadness, apathy, and, in some instances, resentment. These feelings can create a relationship with more negative interactions than positive ones, which exacerbates the existing issues further and places an intolerable strain on each individual involved.

Why You Should Imagine Your Relationship as Though It Is a Bank Account

In order to understand this further, let’s consider another scenario where it is possible for negative transactions to outnumber positive ones. If you have a bank account, for example, you may have experienced periods where your outgoings and monthly payments are greater than your earnings during the same period. As you will know, such a scenario will leave you in the red, either trapped in a predetermined overdraft or indebted to the lender.

This type of situation cannot continue indefinitely either, as a continued excess of negative transactions will eventually force you to foreclose on the account.

In order to avoid this, you must adopt a proactive approach to resolving the issue, while taking practical steps to build the number of positive transactions in the account and restoring a healthy balance. This requires courage and understanding, while it also encourages you to constantly work on your financial management and seek out creative methods of maintaining a positive balance.

The Golden Ratio: 5 Times More Positive Interactions Than Negative Ones

This is a principle that can be applied directly to your relationship, as research conducted by Dr. John Gottman underlines. His theory is based on the basic principle that the existence of ongoing and unresolvable issues within a relationship is perfectly normal and healthy, and that the key is to balance this with positive interactions.

According to Gottman, the golden ratio for a healthy relationship is to experience at least five times more positive interactions than negative ones[1], as this creates a balance that can sustain a union even through testing times.

This is often referred to as a “relationship bank account”, where an excess of negative interactions and withdrawals (or conflicts) quickly drains any credit that exists and edges the union close to zero or the precipice of a break-up. If you are able to establish a healthier balance and the type of ratio referenced above, however, you can build the credit and level of sentiment within the relationship, creating a safety net that minimizes the impact of arguments and ensures that individual issues are kept in perspective.

How to Keep a Positive Balance of Your Relationship Bank Account

While this logic holds true, however, the question that remains is how can couples pursue such a healthy balance? The first step is to recognize the realities of human relationships, which dictate that conflict is inevitable and should be embraced as a key part of adult life. From there, it is easier to manage your relationship while seeking out opportunities to build positive interactions and memories.

When it comes to forging positive interactions, it is crucial that you focus on your relationship and look to seek out shared passions and hobbies. This ensures that you spend quality time with one another, and ensures that you enjoy positive experiences and interactions that can quickly build credit between two individuals.

This requires effort and application on both sides, of course, while there should also be a willingness to set aside specific periods of time for such activity.

By managing your relationship as though it was a bank account and adhering to Dr. John Gottman’s golden ratio, you can create a positive and sustainable relationship that can survive even difficult periods of time. If you do need any more motivation to follow this path and invest time into cultivating such positive interactions, just consider the consequences of allowing negative interactions to build up and the permanent impact that this can have on relationships.

Tips To Tell Someone You Love Them Subtly Yet Sweetly

For all of their love, strength, and beauty, relationships can be fragile things and, much like a delicate plant, must be watered and fed if you want them to survive.

The biggest reason couples fall out of love is simple: they don’t feel loved by their partner. Why? Because even though they may say “I love you” at the end of phone calls and before heading off to work, those words have no magic if not backed by thousands of other simple gestures.

100 small things to make someone feel loved

  1. Don’t forget to hug before you say goodbye. Physical gestures often go undervalued after a relationship has been going on for a while.
  2. Tell them how special they are to you. This goes beyond just saying, “I love you”.
  3. Express understanding when it’s needed by saying, “I understand how you feel.” If you don’t understand, express your desire to by saying something like, “Tell me how you feel so that I can understand.”
  4. Tell them frequently how much you appreciate it when they do things for you. We often get used to how much our spouses or partners do for us and tend to forget how much easier they make our lives.
  5. Tell them how much you enjoy certain aspects of their personality. For example, “I love your sense of humor.” You need to be praised for who you are and so do they.
  6. Go an entire day with your partner without saying anything but positive praise. You can make this as frequent a practice as you like.
  7. Fix your partner their favorite food without them asking.
  8. Offer to help cook.
  9. If you have kids, offer to take them out so your partner can spend some relaxing time alone. Alone time is important!
  10. Send an intimate text message to your partner for no reason.
  11. Email your partner while they’re at work just to see how they’re doing.
  12. Call your partner when they’re on break just to say hi.
  13. Reach across the car, the table, or the couch to touch their hand, if only for a moment.
  14. Pull out their chair, or open the door for them- chivalry, guys!
  15. Remember to give them a smile. I don’t mean smile at them or fake it. I mean giving them their own personal smile- the one you save for them.
  16. Instead of taking your frustrations out on them after a hard day, say, “I really needed to see you today because … “, or, “I had a hard day and I need a hug.” They probably aren’t the cause of your bad mood, so let them help you out.
  17. Joke and laugh, and laugh with them.
  18. Go to bed at the same time for a week. Talk or read together, or just sit quietly.
  19. If you have children, compliment your partner or spouse in front of them. This will make your kids happy, too!
  20. Brag about your partner in public. Yes, they may turn beet red if they’re shy, but they’ll appreciate it.
  21. Try to avoid their pet peeves (e.g. sponge left in the sink or toilet seat left up). You may think they’re silly but it’s important to them.
  22. Light a candle or two when you have dinner together to make the atmosphere more romantic, just because.
  23. Find creative ways to tell each other “I love you” in code.
  24. Have date nights. Go out or stay in, but make the night about one another.
  25. Pick her some flowers.
  26. Offer to watch a movie with them that they like.
  27. Give them a massage after a long day, or for no reason at all.
  28. Tell them they’re your best friend.
  29. Don’t be shy about sharing your feelings. Let them know if you’re happy or unhappy at the moment, and why.
  30. Listen when they tell you how they’re feeling.
  31. Buy small “just because” presents outside of a holiday or birthday.
  32. Write intimate messages on a piece of paper and slip it into their bag for them to find.
  33. Hold hands in public.
  34. Take lessons together. It doesn’t matter what kind.
  35. Apologize when you make a mistake.
  36. Let them be right sometimes.
  37. Play games from your childhood together.
  38. Give your partner space when they need it. But let them know you’re there when they need you.
  39. Run a hot bath for your partner when they seem stressed.
  40. Wash your partner’s car for them.
  41. Put a cute little toy that reminds them of you in their glove compartment.
  42. Try to do one random act of kindness every day for your partner.
  43. Try new activities together. Challenging ones are the best.
  44. Take a day off work every once in a while to spend doing nothing together.
  45. Let your partner sleep in. Turn off their alarm.
  46. And bring them breakfast in bed.
  47. Remind your partner that they’re hot or sexy.
  48. Take bike rides or go for walks together.
  49. Wear matching outfits every so often.
  50. Keep your partner’s favorite snacks on hand at all times.
  51. Volunteer together.
  52. Do each other’s hair.
  53. Create goals as a couple. They can be about fitness, finance, personal-growth, etc.
  54. Take an unplanned vacation together.
  55. Plan a special day for your partner.
  56. Use a photo of them as the wallpaper on your phone, and show them that.
  57. Do a chore that he/she usually does.
  58. Keep a shared journal between the two of you.
  59. Accompany him to game night/football night and be “one of the guys”.
  60. Take time to get to know your partner’s friends.
  61. Let your partner have a guys/girls night out sometimes.
  62. Put on your partner’s favorite song or music and invite them to dance.
  63. Be silly sometimes. Make fun of yourselves. Don’t be too serious.
  64. Sing for your partner or play them something if you’re instrumentally inclined.
  65. Tell them, “I’m more in love with you than I was yesterday.”
  66. When you’re having a bad day, lighten the mood by saying, “I hate everything today– but you’re pretty cool, as always.”
  67. Tell them that you think they’re even more attractive than when you met them.
  68. Tell them you were thinking about them.
  69. Tell them you support them.
  70. Tell them you love their body and mind.
  71. Tell them what made you happy today, and how it reminded you of them.
  72. Ask them how their day was.
  73. Say good morning every day.
  74. Say goodnight every night.
  75. Make sure they know you’re their “number one”.
  76. Show your partner you respect them by listening to their opinions on important decisions, and actually act on them.
  77. Tell them you appreciate what’s good about their opinions, even when you disagree with them.
  78. Lovingly tease them. Call them names too sickeningly sweet for anyone else.
  79. Flirt! Everyone enjoys flirting.
  80. Ask them to choose your outfit for work.
  81. Go to the gym together.
  82. Write a poem or song for your partner, even if it’s goofy.
  83. Make your partner a sweet card for no reason at all.
  84. Recreate your first date, run-in, kiss, etc.
  85. If you’re crafty, make them something. It doesn’t have to be useful, but make sure it’s adorable and reminds them of you.
  86. Tell them you’re lucky to have them. Tell them how you’ve changed since you met them.
  87. Be truthful. Let them know about the naughty mistakes you’ve made.
  88. Be gentle about pointing out your partner’s flaws. They may need to hear it, but always softly.
  89. Show your partner how you trust them. Don’t feel the need to know their whereabouts if they don’t open up first.
  90. Buy your partner a gift certificate for their favorite store.
  91. Never blame your bad mood on your partner.
  92. Write them a story about your love.
  93. Make a picture collage of the two of you.
  94. Do something silly together.
  95. Invite their family to dinner (if they’re on good terms, that is).
  96. Make a playlist of your favorite songs as a couple and play it on a road trip.
  97. Rent some cheesy romance movies.
  98. Ask your partner to share their dreams with you.
  99. Laugh when they joke, even if the joke isn’t funny.
  100. Make it easy for them to love you. You’ll find that they’ll act in kind.