Monthly Archives: February 2017

Give Relationship Advice

Romantic relationships can be difficult to navigate and sometimes, they don’t work out. Other times, you manage to find the person of your dreams out of the giant sea of available fish. When that happens, you probably want everything to work out so you can spend the rest of your lives together. But, how exactly do you make your relationships work out? By asking for relationship advice from people in happy relationships!

That is exactly what author and blogger Mark Manson set out to do just before getting married. He sent out a relationship advice request to all of his readers with one qualification. They must be married for longer than 10 years and still happy in their relationship. He asked responders to pass on their relationship advice to other couples and the response was more than he expected. Nearly 1,500 people sent in their relationship advice. [1]

Mark noticed something. Most of the pieces of advice were similar. The most common bit of relationship advice was: “Be together for the right reasons”.

Most Common Piece of Relationship Advice

Be together for the right reasons. To have a healthy relationship, both partners need to feel admiration and respect for one another. When you’re with another person for the right reasons, you benefit through personal growth and so does your partner.

As most relationship advice will tell you, being in a healthy relationship is good for you. Having somebody to come home to, who you legitimately love to share your time with, can actually make you healthier. Not only that, but you’ll feel more motivated to accomplish your goals and you’ll probably get more done as well. Maintaining happiness gives you hope and can help relieve the stress of life’s difficult moments. 

But, you and your partner will only experience these benefits if you really love each other. Unfortunately, people end up in relationships for all the wrong reasons far too frequently.

Wrong Reasons to Be In A Relationship

Feeling Lonely

Maybe you met your significant other at a time in your life when you were feeling lonely or worried that you’d never meet the right person. Or maybe you’re staying in a relationship that you know isn’t right because of the fear of never finding somebody else. According to Carole Lieberman, MD and psychiatrist, “They [women] convince themselves that even a selfish, boring, or abusive boyfriend is better than no boyfriend at all.” [3] The same is true for men. Follow the relationship advice, don’t risk your happiness.

Fear of Losing an Entire Family

Another wrong reason to be with somebody else is for their family. Lots of people love their significant other’s family, particularly if the relationship has gone on for a long time. Sound familiar? Breaking up with that one person suddenly seems like you’ll be losing an entire family. Don’t let that stop you. It’s not a good enough reason to stay with somebody. If it’s the only reason, neither one of you will be happy.

Hoping that He/She Would Fix Everything That’s Wrong In Your Life

If you think that having a partner will magically fix everything that’s wrong in your life, you’re not following good relationship advice. Being with somebody because you think they can relieve your emotional issues is the wrong reason to be with somebody. Not only that, but you might find yourself in a codependent situation. This is when you put up with somebody else’s unhealthy behavior and they put up with yours because neither person wants to be alone. Not good.

Remember, finding the right relationship is not impossible. It just takes being honest with yourself about why you want to have a significant other. Once you’ve found the person that you want to grow old with and create a life with, follow the most common relationship advice discussed above. Make sure the two of you are in it for the right reasons.

Some Things To Do When in A Long Distance Relationship.

A relationship in general is a challenging adventure. Being in love, accepting and adapting is a complicated puzzle even if you live near your partner. It gets even more stressful when you’re in a long-distance relationship. You lack physical contact and the only way you’re able to show your love is through social media.

Unlike the times of Romeo and Juliet, we are now blessed with technology. We are now brought closer through Facebook, Skype, and other forms of communication. In the digital world, how can you create trust and how can you be genuine? This is the typical question asked by many.

Here are four tips to make your long-distance relationship work.

1. Create Routine Of Communication

Communication is key in any relationship. It’s the one element that keeps the relationship progressing and unique. In many ways, most couples fail at this point in a long-distance relationship. Different lifestyles, routines, and even time zones allow one to forget their priorities, especially in a relationship.

Sometimes we expect that if we are far apart we have to constantly keep in touch, texting and talking 24/7. If that doesn’t happen, we tend to lose hope and confidence. This then results in unprecedented conflicts and stress. which could put a strain on your relationship. How do you find a balance in communication ?

You create a routine. A routine of communication, a plan where you know when you both will be available to talk to each other without distractions. A time frame will allow you guys to savor the moment and grow the trust within your relationship . A schedule may seem like you’re drifting apart, but this is the one way you can keep your partner calm and your relationship healthy whilst having your own life.

2. Share Your World

I realize it’s hard to actually share your world when you’re not right next to each other. It’s hard to make each other feel and enjoy the thrills of another world. However, you can share tips, pictures, videos and voice messages despite the fact your partner may not reply to you. Keeping your loved one in the loop is one way to ensure you’re part of each other’s world.

For example, when my partner and I are miles apart, I’m constantly sending him pictures, videos and voice messages. He gets to see what I’m wearing and eating for the day and he does the same in return. We make each other feel at ease while moving on with our lives.

Distance doesn’t mean you can’t be part of each other’s world. You just need to find out ways to stay in communication.

3. Travel Together

Couples that I’ve crossed in the past often tell me that their relationships came to an end due to the distance between them. They claim to still be in love, but aren’t willing to make the sacrifices it takes to make a relationship work. Instead, they settle for what would be the “next best choice.” I personally find this unfair to both yourself and the other individual.

Therefore, we came up with a strategy: we travel together. We start off by planning our next visit or meet up and a month or two before, we decide on the destination. Oftentimes, I get the evil eye of how flawed our relationship is , however, that doesn’t bother either of us because we are creating memories all over the world together.

For example, one of the places I would recommend for a romantic getaway is Lanzarote Island which is located in the cluster of the Canary Islands. It’s an island made for couples. Not only do you enjoy the fine peaceful walks, nature, and beautiful blue water, but you’ll also enjoy amazing wine and the best dining experience with a magnificent view.

4. Ignore the Rumors

Being in a distant relationship can be taxing for the mind and the soul. When you watch couples holding hands and cuddling together, your heart aches due to your partner being so far. Sometimes your friends and family may find it ridiculous to have a relationship constantly depending on technology.

All the rumors and judgments might just seep into your soul, causing you to not only be bitter but also to show resentment towards your relationship. What you don’t realize is that you’re constantly pumping negative energy into your relationship which eventually could make those who are involved in this constant drama tired .

So what do you do? Complain less and embrace the uniqueness of your relationship. Accept the fact that all relationships are different and by accepting it you’re acknowledging the sincerity of your relationship. Always have faith towards one another because in a long run that’s what’s going to help your relationship prosper.

Relationships whether near or far are generally hard. Embrace the uniqueness and keep the negativity away and you’ll be fine.